Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Sad Reality behind Indian "Settlement"

Some words bother you. They make you think time and again..! "Settlement" is one among them... Analysis over the Tea break discussions certainly disturbs you ..It's an Irony that East and West are separated just by a alphabet E and W but they are to the opposite corners in list of alphabets.  When I brought up the term "settlement " , few of my american friends asked me if I was involved in a law suit or a financial dispute. All I could do is smile and explain the sad reality behind every successful Indian & the Indian way of seeing it. We Indians are bourgeois even if we are smart and financially strong enough to afford a million dollar house.. Irrespective of age group, people in Indian society emphasize , magnify , judge a person/ family by the word settlement irrespective of their capabilities. 


A gentle breeze can destroy a tower formed by a pack of cards ; an ice burg can flip a gigantic titanic. Just like how an Indian society demoralizes a 'So-called-unsettled-guy/girl'. All the hard-work you put in and job satisfaction you have till date regarding your job suddenly vanishes if the you are around the Indian society. The buzz is more irritating than a bee around your ear. But, unfortunately you are part of that society and it's backbone. It's a moment of happy sadness or a sad happiness when I could explain a standard Indian life in the span of having a coffee. 

Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly, Indian life is all staged. Schooling is a incubated phase where IIT foundations or 12+ entrances are the only focus. A guy who isn't averaging 90% is eventually not so smart and  the mantra for this phase is  "If you don't study hard now, you won't be settled in future". Indians always tend to recollect a family or a friends at-least once a day as they either compare you to a brilliant cousin of yours or a not-so-financially/career wise strong yet happy/unhappy family/friend in their lives. 

You enter a feeding stage like a caterpillar during undergrad, nevertheless you are tied and hanging either to Engineering or Medicine. Supposedly all other streams are for unsettled people. In 4 years of undergrad, you have a vision to outer world but you are still hanging to the tree called society. By Influence or force , when a child is about to get graduated he is given a option of Going abroad for Masters in his stream or pursuing MBA at IIMs or worst case a software job in MNC and still his personal choices are ignored for the simple fact that settlement is all about getting a job or a degree which subsequently fetches him one. Like many other ironies in life, he's still not settled when he's had a decent job for couple of years. 

Yet another couple of years pass by as he graduates from Masters/Dr. Suddenly settlement has a new definition in  Marriage. He who isn't getting married by 30 is either in relationship with a girl of other caste or not "settled".  Poor chap compromises on his dream , interests and unfortunately even the girl he wants. Willingly, Unwillingly a guy gets married, he is then scanned for the car he drives and the place he lives in. Settlement is a chameleon which changes it's color after marriage which states "Buy a house, car and have huge bank balance". After a real hard struggle finding a property or a car, if he buys one and has a life long commitment for at least 30 years. He's still not settled as they don't have kids.Harsh reality is if people are married for more than 5 years and they don't have kids either the girl or guy has a serious issue.(Generally poor girls the victim).

 Once the kids start growing and relatives start visiting him; his settlement suddenly vanishes as the house or car he has isn't big enough to accommodate everyone. So called settled guy suddenly needs to attain resettlement by buying bigger ones for which he either needs to prosper in his job or quit everything and get into business to become a next millionaire/billionaire.  It's an unfortunate circle of life that , he who was interested in other field and couldn't pursue because his dad wanted him to become engineer (as his father couldn't become one) will be forcing his kid into other stream. Tradition continues. He pushes his son into vicious circle of life.

 PS:  During fag end of life completing these cycle is when a guy gets wisdom . That is when he realizes that he has constructed a fragile tower out of cards in a stormy end of the world, Storms being the society. He scarifies all his life constructing and ensuring that the cards won't collapse. Wise man still can't roll back or leave them. Unfortunately, Indian scripted life's are the most successful ones financially , relationship wise, perpetuation wise. No wonder India is only next to china in population, but volatile in economy due to these selfish vicious cycles and society.  A person who follows this cycle is a settled one. A rebel would be a topic of discussion for whatever reason it is..

Friday, June 26, 2015

PlaN vs PlaY - Chess vs Love.

How does it feel to win a battle of wits ..? Hmmmm .....  Sometimes attack Is the best form of defense ...  Sometimes patience is the key .. Sometimes nothing works ...
Love has great similarities with chess .. Lets pen down when a girl loves a guy - when  he's smart , when he's capable , it's when he takes right  decisions at right times ..and it's all about winning time and again .. He must be wise to say that he loves her when she does , he must be strong enough to save her when she's in trouble , he must be patient enough to bare her madness , he must be romantic enough to satisfy her wishes , he must be sweet enough to convince the world ...List is never ending ... Possibilities are seamless as guys credibility becomes meaningless ..

Plan and play just differ by n and y. if you play in love, they shall have another plan , if you plan in love, they shall play. it’s just another paradox in life after all N is symbolic to no and y is symbolic to yes. There are cries for women empowerment, equal rights, deeper definitions of feminism. I feel sad as a un-educated women never gets to understand them, and an educated one exploits them. 

 A Smart guy plan(y)s the love game and chess with same intensity .. An aggressive one intensifies the velocity to see the adversity. Patient guy suffers but achieves prosperity...
Hmmm .... Let's pen down what a game of chess needs .... It's about resources and powers ... King is  supposed to be the potential match decider.. But it's the queen who has powers of moralizing or demoralizing a kingdom ...king is surrounded by the army and is loner as he looses every single power in front  of him with time ... In guys case; interests, freedom gradually friends and family. 

Girls are smart, all they ask is for time and importance on first date, same again on second and then keep doubling every passing day. Even in chess, if you want to place a wheat grain on top of first, 2 on second and keep doubling until the last square , one ends up putting 2 power 64 wheat grain i.e. 18,446,744 trillion wheat grains. Dumb guy places grains and in the process, stars a bond called living together. Eventually, a guy who was a master in chess , who succeeded in love suddenly fails in every aspect of his life. Generally, king is the one who possess all the skills spiritually, physically and mentally however he is confined just to 4 moves. Queen has the liberty to save or destroy his kingdom with her special moves but at the expense of pawns and powers. In order to protect the queen, king sacrifices all his other powers. End of the day he wins in life if he sacrifices, but at the expense of his empire. That's when battle ends. That's when he wins , Of course loses too... 

Like in chess, moment you loose your horses and elephants you loose significant part of your kingdom just as  a guys life. This is when the queen goes on an attack leaving king on defense ... Life is such a funny thing  .. Hmmmm ..! 

Every Bollywood/ Tollywood film hides the queens attacks(Post love/marriage) and shows the defense(happy endings). Sadly, people are not interested to watch their own lives/problems/fights on big screen giving the writers directors no other choice than stereo type happy endings. 

PS: A happy person is an expressive person who expresses his feelings. Chess player thinks 10 steps ahead before moving one, unfortunately society lacks chess players so they instantly draw conclusions and start gossips. Truth is that plan(y)-ing in chess/ life is an unavoidable choice once we are in battlefield. King is a loser who plays to win, after all his wits are controlled by the queen. He can win only with the sacrifice of a kingdom.