Some words bother you. They make you think time and again..! "Settlement" is one among them... Analysis over the Tea break discussions certainly disturbs you ..It's an Irony that East and West are separated just by a alphabet E and W but they are to the opposite corners in list of alphabets. When I brought up the term "settlement " , few of my american friends asked me if I was involved in a law suit or a financial dispute. All I could do is smile and explain the sad reality behind every successful Indian & the Indian way of seeing it. We Indians are bourgeois even if we are smart and financially strong enough to afford a million dollar house.. Irrespective of age group, people in Indian society emphasize , magnify , judge a person/ family by the word settlement irrespective of their capabilities.
A gentle breeze can destroy a tower formed by a pack of cards ; an ice burg can flip a gigantic titanic. Just like how an Indian society demoralizes a 'So-called-unsettled-guy/girl'. All the hard-work you put in and job satisfaction you have till date regarding your job suddenly vanishes if the you are around the Indian society. The buzz is more irritating than a bee around your ear. But, unfortunately you are part of that society and it's backbone. It's a moment of happy sadness or a sad happiness when I could explain a standard Indian life in the span of having a coffee.
Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly, Indian life is all staged. Schooling is a incubated phase where IIT foundations or 12+ entrances are the only focus. A guy who isn't averaging 90% is eventually not so smart and the mantra for this phase is "If you don't study hard now, you won't be settled in future". Indians always tend to recollect a family or a friends at-least once a day as they either compare you to a brilliant cousin of yours or a not-so-financially/career wise strong yet happy/unhappy family/friend in their lives.
You enter a feeding stage like a caterpillar during undergrad, nevertheless you are tied and hanging either to Engineering or Medicine. Supposedly all other streams are for unsettled people. In 4 years of undergrad, you have a vision to outer world but you are still hanging to the tree called society. By Influence or force , when a child is about to get graduated he is given a option of Going abroad for Masters in his stream or pursuing MBA at IIMs or worst case a software job in MNC and still his personal choices are ignored for the simple fact that settlement is all about getting a job or a degree which subsequently fetches him one. Like many other ironies in life, he's still not settled when he's had a decent job for couple of years.
Yet another couple of years pass by as he graduates from Masters/Dr. Suddenly settlement has a new definition in Marriage. He who isn't getting married by 30 is either in relationship with a girl of other caste or not "settled". Poor chap compromises on his dream , interests and unfortunately even the girl he wants. Willingly, Unwillingly a guy gets married, he is then scanned for the car he drives and the place he lives in. Settlement is a chameleon which changes it's color after marriage which states "Buy a house, car and have huge bank balance". After a real hard struggle finding a property or a car, if he buys one and has a life long commitment for at least 30 years. He's still not settled as they don't have kids.Harsh reality is if people are married for more than 5 years and they don't have kids either the girl or guy has a serious issue.(Generally poor girls the victim).
Once the kids start growing and relatives start visiting him; his settlement suddenly vanishes as the house or car he has isn't big enough to accommodate everyone. So called settled guy suddenly needs to attain resettlement by buying bigger ones for which he either needs to prosper in his job or quit everything and get into business to become a next millionaire/billionaire. It's an unfortunate circle of life that , he who was interested in other field and couldn't pursue because his dad wanted him to become engineer (as his father couldn't become one) will be forcing his kid into other stream. Tradition continues. He pushes his son into vicious circle of life.